I was one of those bosses. Not because I was cruel or misguided, but because I didn’t understand how much more my words weighed as a manager.
I thought being direct was helpful. Sometimes it is. But when a peer says the deck is off, it’s a note. When the boss says it, it’s a verdict. Same words, different weight.
That’s the fundamental asymmetry, and nobody wants to name it.
Companies continue to promote people into positions of power before they’re ready to help others succeed (SHRM found 84% of workers blame poorly trained managers for unnecessary stress).
That used to be me, because no one taught me how to manage people (you might think business schools do that, but they don’t).
If you lead people: your words land harder than you mean them to. You can give tough feedback, but respect the weight of what you’re saying.
Extra weight is not extra truth. Feedback not delivered productively is not a verdict on you. It’s a verdict on their leadership style.
Your boss may feel like a hurricane, but you can and will find shelter in the storm.